Animal
by dark-night-sky
Summary: DaveKat Humanstuck oneshot. What started off as a simple 'friends with benefits' thing becomes something more, at least for Karkat, and he is going to put a stop to it because he is not getting feelings for a straight man.


**A/N: **I just really want to write some Davekat. It's been hurting me inside, and the only idea I had was for a multichap-genderbender. Now though. NOW. Age-wise in this story they're university/college students (so between eighteen and twenty-one).

**Animal**

It was happening again. The clash of lips and teeth, the mingling of breath, the soft grunts and moans that were muffled by each other's hands, the awkward entanglement of limbs together in a space that was probably too small. Then again, he was fairly certain closets and bathroom stalls weren't exactly designed for students to come have some rumpy-pumpy groping time in them.

Dear God, did he actually just use that term?

He grimaced slightly as his head smacked against the tiled wall more viciously than he thought it would, letting out a low curse which was quickly cut off by overeager lips, reminding him that they didn't really have much time. His lecturer had given a ten minute break, mainly so she could go have a cigarette.

Goodness, but it felt good when his hair was tugged on like that.

It was kind of ironic, a term he hated using seeing as his 'friend' was so obsessed with it, that their tumbles were kept in closets and bathrooms, considering that Dave fucking Strider was such a closet case. Coming to university, the blonde had no questions about his sexuality. Dave Strider was pretty damn straight, when they first met, Karkat didn't really get any gay vibes at all from him, but then there had been that one night where they'd both had a tad too much to drink, and it had been _two months_ since they started and neither had pulled in that time and _fucking shit _two months is a long time to go without.

It had started as just a one night thing. Karkat remembers waking up the next morning and nearly having a heart attack from seeing the other male next to him. Dave had actually been the cool one about it, though he was cool about everything, so that was no surprise. Three weeks later, half way through another bottle of whiskey, it came up in conversation as a joke. Then it happened again.

Four months later, they didn't even need the alcohol or darkness to spur it on. They kind of just went at it whenever they could get some privacy.

Karkat was fairly certain his best friend Kanaya knew. That look she gave him when he'd excuse himself and disappear during class spoke volumes. If any of Dave's friends knew, he hadn't said anything about it. In saying that Dave's friends seemed to be the kind of adorable geeky kid who was a bit oblivious to everything, his weird twin who was far too wrapped up in being so goddamn happy all the time to notice, and Dave's sister, who probably knew. Though Karkat kept her at arm's length, she seemed to have developed this weird lesbian relationship with Kanaya, so they probably gossiped about it.

You'd think having a gay sister would make Dave more okay with this whole thing.

"Shit, dude, where's your lube?"

"In my wallet," Karkat growled out. "Do we have to do this every time? It's not like it's ever anywhere-!"

He could've bitten that hand that covered his mouth, and that tiny, barely there smirk on Strider's lips clearly said that he knew how much it irritated him. Asshole.

"Got it."

"Quick, we've got like, what, five minutes left?"

"You've got five minutes. I've got another fifteen before my class starts."

"You are not making me late again."

The smirk grew wider.

"I will walk out of this stall right now if you even-_urrgghh_!"

"What was that?"

Karkat clamped his mouth shut, his face heating up quickly. He'd go with angry silent. For once.

When he got back to class he was in the room sheer seconds before the lecturer reappeared, frazzled and particularly grumpy at nearly being late, glaring at the door in hopes Dave would feel it wherever the fuck he was. The bastard knew just what to do to get those reactions from the darker haired male. It wasn't fair.

"Did you have a nice break?" floated the voice next to him, a smile playing delicately on Kanaya's lips.

"I've had better."

She chuckled, reaching into her bag and taking out the comb she always kept in there, brushing it through Karkat's hair once before he started to complain. "Now you look more presentable."

"Whatever."

Then class had started again, and conversation was thankfully cut short.

Karkat didn't see Dave until much later, passing him in the hallway, John by his side. Who, of course, insisted that they stopped and said hi and exchanged pleasantries. He couldn't help the horrible flush that was staining his cheeks, avoiding looking at Dave, and failing, annoyed by the unreadable expression behind those stupid shades. At least the fact he was rocking back and forth on his feet said something. What it was exactly, Karkat wasn't sure.

Fucking Dave Strider being so goddamn attractive. It should've been a sin.

xXx

Tuesday night was always movie night. Karkat had Wednesdays off, so it made most sense. He would curl up on his bed in his dorm room with his TV and watch as many rom-coms as he could. Occasionally he'd play some online games with Sollux, or Skype with his best friend Gamzee, both of who now lived in different states to him, but not today. Today he just wanted to watch movies on his own and miss his cat horribly because movie night was so much better when she was there to curl up at his side. And no, he was not bloody well crying.

He was so into the movie, still a bit emotional from the ending of the last one and missing his cat, that he almost didn't answer his phone when it went off. He glanced at the caller ID, biting down on his lip, ignoring the weird anticipation he got from seeing it, pressing the green button and holding it up to his ear, pausing the movie.

"What do you want, Dave?"

"_Aren't you cheerful, such a nice greeting for your best bro?" _

"I am busy."

"_You sound kind of stuffy, do you have a cold?" _

"I don't sound stuffy!" Karkat snapped, feeling his cheeks heat up. "The line must just be dodgy. On your end."

"_Yeah, whatever, just let me in would you?" _

"Let you in?"

"_I'm freezing my balls off out here." _

Karkat frowned, scrambling off his bed and moving to his window, not quite sure he believed the boy. When he looked outside however he was greeted with the sigh of a man waiting outside the flat door, shade-covered eyes looking straight at him.

"_Sup?" _

"What are you doing here?!"

"_Visiting you, what else? Jeez, Karkat, keep up." _

He glanced back at his TV, seeing 27 Dresses staring back at him. "No, go home, you're not welcome."

"_I brought chocolate." _

Rusty brown eyes turned back to the figure outside, seeing him now holding up a few bars of chocolate. Chocolate would go really well with his movie. "I'll take the chocolate then you're going home."

"_We're a package, you can't pick one of us. You want the chocolate, you have to have me too." _

Karkat groaned banging his head against the window. "Fine," he ground out, hanging up and tossing his phone on the bed, leaving his room and rushing downstairs to open the flat door, pleased his flatmates all seemed to be out or locked away in their own rooms.

"Finally, what are you even doing that means you can't hang out with the awesomeness that is me?"

Rolling his eyes, Karkat just pulled Dave inside the flat, shutting the door and trying to decide if he wanted Dave in his room. "It's movie night."

"Shit dude do you have people round? I can leave if you're already-!"

"No, it's just me."

There was a moment's pause. "You're having movie night on your own?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"It's kind of sad, bro."

"There's nothing sad about wanting to enjoy your favourite movies!" Karkat snapped, pushing Dave up the stairs towards his room. "Do you want to come in or not?"

"What are you even watching?"

"Just…" Karkat shrugged. "Movies."

"You're not watching porn, are you? Not that I would mind, I'd just rather not watch gay porn."

"I'm not watching porn!"

"Good, just checking. Though I'm sure we could find something we both agreed on if you wanted to."

"We're not watching porn together Dave stop being weird."

The blonde raised his hands. "Hey, just a suggestion."

Karkat opened the door to his room, holding it open for Dave, trying not to look at the array of DVD cases that were spread across his floor. He couldn't help but look at Dave, trying to gauge the reaction. Not that his love of rom-coms was something he was ashamed of, most of his friends knew, but this was Dave, and for some reason that made it different.

"Okay, I've changed my mind, I'd rather watch gay porn."

"No, fuck you, these are some really good movies, okay?"

"I seriously hope you're watching these for ironic purposes."

"You just don't understand the intricacies of romance."

"I brought chocolate too, oh dear God Karkat, you're so gay it's unbelievable."

Karkat huffed, glaring up at the shaded eyes and snatching one of the chocolate bars, storming over to his bed. "I told you I was-hey!"

Dave snatched the chocolate right back. "You can have these when I've decided you deserve it which is so not right now."

"You can't bring chocolate and then not share it!"

"Oh, can't I? Because that appears to be exactly what I am doing right now."

"I swear to God, Strider."

"Try not to, he might smite you."

Karkat's frown deepened as his guest got onto his bed, making himself comfortable. "What are you doing?"

"It's movie night, let's watch us some shitty romcoms."

There was a protest bubbling on his tongue, but he pushed it down, the desire to finish his movie stronger. He slowly made his way over to the bed, small enough to mean that when he sat down his side was pressed up against Dave's, heart fluttering slightly as an arm wrapped round his shoulder, reaching for the remote and pressing play. Why was his body acting so weird all of a sudden? This was not on.

Half an hour later he was snuggled up to Dave's side, munching on chocolate, completely absorbed in the movie. He wasn't surprised that Dave had fallen asleep.

He didn't quite have the heart to wake the blonde up by getting off the bed and changing the movie when it finished, instead simply turning off the TV with the remote and falling asleep himself, despite the fact it was only ten o'clock and there was a tissue box, a half-finished bar of chocolate, and lots of wrappers surrounding them.

When he woke up at stupid o'clock in the morning to see Dave's face so close to his own, sleeping peacefully, and everything of the previous night started to click together, Karkat had a horrific realisation.

This was about more than just sex.

xXx

Karkat had come to the conclusion that Dave Strider was a drug. He wasn't actually a person; he was genetically designed in a lab specifically for the purpose of killing Karkat Vantas with sex. It was the only logical conclusion he could come to for why Dave couldn't just keep his fucking hands to himself and why every time Karkat couldn't say no.

Shit had gotten real far too quickly for his liking and he was having none of it. There was a goddamn party and they were going to go to it and Dave was going to get himself a chick to sleep with whether it killed him or not and Karkat was going to give absolutely no fucks about it. It was happening.

"Are you okay, Karkat? You look sort of tense," Kanaya's voice was soothing in his ear. "Do you want your drink topping up?"

"Probably," he muttered, glaring around the room.

"Searching for Dave?"

"No! Why would I be searching for Dave?"

"Well, you both seem to get on quite well."

"Stop probing, Kan, there's nothing to probe about."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Karkat sucked in a breath. Got to stay calm. "I know. It's fine."

"What are you looking for then?"

It was an honest, innocent question, but Karkat hesitated long enough for realisation to dawn in Kanaya's eyes.

"Oh. So I was right."

"Yeah, but there's nothing weird going on."

"I never said that."

"You've been hanging out with that weird chick on the psychology degree too much."

Kanaya bit down on her lip, trying to supress a smile. Her eyes weren't quite focused on Karkat however, but just behind him, and it took the man a few moments to realise why.

"Which weird chick on the psychology degree? I'm afraid there are quite a few of us."

He groaned, slapping his palm to his forehead. He knew that voice. Did he really have to interact with her? He was trying to avoid her. "Rose."

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Karkat. Hello, Kanaya."

The dark haired woman nodded in greeting, a fond look coming to her eyes. "Hello, Rose, Dave."

This had Karkat turning round, though in hindsight he probably shouldn't have. Not if he wanted to be at least a little bit subtle. There stood both siblings, their unusually fair blonde hair and pale skin matching, Rose's strangely coloured eyes staring straight at him, an amused look on her face. Dave was observing the room, shades still on his face, protecting Karkat from knowing exactly what he was looking at.

"Would you like to get a drink with me, Kanaya? We've practically just arrived."

"That'd be lovely," Kanaya shoved the drink she was holding into Karkat's hand, reaching out and taking the hand offered to her, allowing Rose to guide her through the crowds of people.

Bitch. Though at least now he could execute his plan.

"Strider, we need-hey that's my drink!"

"Yeah, but you have two now, so you forfeit one," Dave took a sip of the drink he'd stolen from Karkat, returning to look around the room. "What do we need to do?"

"You need to give me my drink back."

"What even is this?"

"Vodka orange."

"That's disappointingly not as a gay as I was hoping, and this is so weak, all I can taste is orange juice. Where are the sparkles and the funny cocktail names?"

Karkat raised a brow. "This is a student party, not a bar, they don't really do cocktails."

"Why don't you make your own, dude, Karkles, you are so uncreative."

"Just give me my goddamn drink back you stupid shitstain."

"Forget it, we're getting you a new drink," Dave grasped onto Karkat's elbow, downing the rest of the vodka orange, heading in the direction the girls had gone, ignoring the protesting he was receiving. When they arrived, Kanaya and Rose had apparently either gotten their drinks quickly, or gotten distracted by something else. Dave didn't seem to care much however, setting his mind on pouring as many drinks in one cup as he could.

"We need to do something incredibly important during this party so I hope you're paying attention, Strider."

"Oh, the surname, definitely important."

"I am being serious here! There will be no room for your sarcasm and ironic comments."

The blonde held up a drink towards Karkat. "Here you go. What do we need to do?"

Karkat took it, but didn't take a drink. "We need to find you a girl to sleep with."

Dave's glass didn't reach his lips. For once, the expression on his face was entirely readable. His eyebrows were raised, mouth hanging open, as if someone had pressed pause on him while he was about to take a drink. It didn't last long, but Karkat was quite pleased with himself for getting the other to drop his guard for the few moments it happened.

"Is there any reason you've decided this?" Dave asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"It has been a while since you slept with a girl; I figured you'd want to."

"Yeah, I guess."

Karkat gestured round the room. "Pick one then."

"Is this how you pick up guys?"

"I generally don't do that at parties, now stop delaying."

"I'm not really feeling it tonight."

"Damnit, Dave, do not fight me on this one."

There was a ghost of a smirk on the pale face. "Fight you on what?"

"You know exactly what."

"Hey, you might get your rocks off by getting other people laid, but you're going to have to find someone else to help."

Karkat huffed, deciding to take a sip of his drink instead. He grimaced as soon as the liquid hit his tongue, along with the strong taste of alcohol. "What even is this? It's disgusting."

"It's the Strider mix."

"Have you literally just put everything you could get your hands on in this drink," one look at Dave's face said it all. "Oh my goodness I can't even look at you, you disgust me."

"Not what you said last-!"

Karkat slapped a hand over Dave's mouth, feeling his face warm up. "Shut up."

There was a muffled reply.

"Are you boys enjoying the party?"

The pair turned their attention to the voice, seeing Rose and Kanaya standing there, the former with an inquisitive look on her face.

"Totally, can you not tell from my uncontainable excitement?" Dave replied.

"You definitely seemed excited about coming here when we left the house."

"Why don't you go back to snogging your girlfriend in the corner?"

The smirk on Rose's face became slightly wicked, her eyes flickering towards Karkat so quickly that he almost missed it. He did feel his blood run cold when he saw it, knowing it meant one thing and one thing only: she knew.

"If we're going to bring up the topic of girlfriends, I'd like to voice my opinion of your lack of one."

"Nope."

She raised a brow.

"We're so not going there."

"Why not?"

Dave slung an arm round Karkat's shoulder, making the shorter male stiffen and fluster, eyes widening, heart speeding up. "Karkat's already offered to be my wingman."

Oh. Oh that's what he was doing. Oh.

Kanaya's brow creased with something akin to worry, while Rose was faking mild surprise. "Has he really now?"

"He has. Apparently he's decided we're going to find me a girl to score at this party."

He did do that. Why was he feeling a little out of breath?

"That's very nice of him, glad to know someone's going to be getting you back into the game."

"I think I need some air."

They all turned to look at him, and it took him a few moments to actually realise he'd said that out loud. Kanaya put on her best smile, taking hold of Karkat's arm and pulling him out of Dave's grasp, wordlessly taking her friend towards the front door, opening it for him and stepping outside. Karkat didn't need to look back to see what the siblings had done, he knew they wouldn't have followed. Dear sweet Jesus he hoped they hadn't followed.

Kanaya waited for Karkat to say something, merely standing with him in the meantime, rubbing circles on his back in a comforting manner. He didn't know why he felt like his stomach had dropped and left him feeling ill in the worst kind of way.

That was a lie. He knew exactly why.

"I think I might be sick."

"Do you wish to go home?"

Karkat glanced down at his drink. "I dunno. It was reasonably enjoyable up until now."

She paused, thinking the situation over probably. She didn't stop rubbing circles on his back though. He wasn't sure he wanted her to. "Perhaps it would be worth talking to some other people? Perhaps some prospective love interests."

Ones that were actually gay.

They stood outside for a good five or ten minutes before Karkat drank a few good mouthfuls of his drink. He'd intended on just chugging the whole thing, until he remembered how strong it was and decided that would be a monumentally bad idea. Kanaya returned into the house with him, still holding his arm, whispering something about introducing him to a friend of hers, which he agreed to.

The friend was some hipster douche with a strange purple streak through his hair, and when he watched Kanaya actually interact with him, Karkat wasn't sure 'friend' was the term he'd use, but he trusted Kanaya, so figured he'd give the asshole a chance. He barely noticed the other douche that was heading in his direction, Kanaya cutting him off and forcing the blonde to take her to find his sister.

Two hours later found Karkat in one of the bathrooms in the student flat, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Kanaya's hipster douchebag friend really was exactly that, a douchebag, but Karkat guessed he wasn't entirely bad, a bit of a snob and a bit needy, but everyone had flaws, right? When he first met Dave he thought the guy was a total jackass who should go die in a hole.

He came here to clear his head of those thoughts, not entertain them. How much had he had to drink?

The door opened and he glanced over, eyes widening. "I thought I locked that door."

"Yeah, these doors have really shitty locks," the blonde replied, gesturing to the handle. "If you turn this thing here it unlocks."

"You don't just unlock a locked bathroom door, I could've been on the shitter you little asswipe."

Dave shut the door, locking it behind him. "Well, you weren't, were you?"

"What do you even want?"

"I've just gotten bored, that's all."

Karkat's eyes narrowed as the blonde walked towards him. "Oh no, no, this is not happening."

"What's not happening?"

"You know exactly what stop right now and do not come any closer to me."

"Are you actually protesting for once? Do you _actually _like that asshole you've been talking to for two hours?"

"There is nothing wrong with Ediran and I said to stop right now why are you still-!"

His back hit the wall. Dave slammed his hands against the tiles, trapping him in place, saying nothing before crushing their lips together. Karkat liked to think that he did fight back a bit, but if he was honest he just caved as soon as their lips met. It wasn't his fault that the blonde hair was just so tempting to touch, what with how soft and light it was.

xXx

Karkat needed help. He needed help from an outside source. Sure, he was fairly certain Kanaya would be a great help, and probably Rose if it wasn't for the fact that she was creepy as fuck, but both of them had been kind of ditching for each other. He was pretty sure that Rose had decided they weren't going to help, the way every time Dave appeared Rose would whisk Kanaya off. She occasionally looked concerned, like she wanted to say something, but Rose would hold her back.

He'd had enough of it. There was only one other person he could turn to.

"Dude, no, I am not your relationship counsellor, go ask Gamzee or something."

He clasped his hands together, for once not even commenting on how the Asian really should try grow out of his lisp because, really, wasn't that a thing for little kids? "Sollux, please, look at me, this shit is driving me insane and you know as well as I do that Gamzee is far too busy getting high to actually be of any help."

"You're the relationship expert."

"But I don't know what to do! This isn't even a relationship."

"No, it's a relationshit."

"Don't even try to be clever you little bulge-licker."

The face that filled his laptop screen vanished into tanned hands, his speakers emitting a groan. "I can't believe I'm about to have this conversation with you."

"I am forever in your debt."

"Firstly, once this conversation is over, we are going to forget about it and wipe it from our brains. And it will never happen again. This is a onetime only thing."

"Got it."

"Secondly, you have to not comment on my lisp for an entire week, but I'm allowed to make as many short jokes as I want."

Karkat hesitated.

"Don't pussy out on me now, Kk."

"Fine. One week. _Only _one week."

Sollux grinned widely, pushing his weird 3D glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Excellent. So, what's happening with this douche?"

Karkat tried to ignore the fact that his cheeks were beginning to heat up. This wasn't usually the type of thing he talked to Sollux about, especially considering all the way through high-school all they did was mock each other relentlessly. "Dave, I've mentioned Dave, right?"

"The asshole who wears the shades?"

"Yeah him."

"Who you hated for the first two weeks of term and did nothing but complain about?"

"Yes! Okay, yes, we get it, I'm a retard with no taste, can we move on now?"

"No, I want to milk every second of this torture."

Karkat glared silently.

"Okay, continue."

"Right, so for the past couple months I guess Dave and I have been…sleeping together."

"Oh my God Kk can I change my mind about having this conversation?"

"No!"

"I did not realise we were going to be talking about you and sex I do not need that mental image."

"What's wrong with me having sex?!"

"Everything."

"You do it too!"

"I don't tell you about it though."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "No, you just forget to lock the door so that when I come round visiting I get to walk in on-!"

"I thought we agreed to never talk about that again."

"If you're going to be a dick about this I am."

"Our conversations are so embarrassing I can't even handle this."

"Are you going to let me continue?"

"Can't we call it something else? Like, 'playing with Barbie'?" Sollux held up his hands. "Don't give me that look."

"You want me to rename sex 'playing with Barbie'?"

"It seems appropriately gay."

"You are the worst person ever, why did I think this would be a good idea."

Sollux grinned, apparently happy with this response. "'Cause you're an idiot."

"Okay, let's try this again then," Karkat fought down his embarrassment. "Dave and I have been…playing with Barbie," he paused to give Sollux a moment to giggle it out. "Just as friends, to get it out of our system."

"You've totally fallen for him, haven't you?"

Karkat spluttered, trying to come up with a suitable denial.

"You are such a girl."

"Fuck you!"

"No thanks, your boyfriend might get jealous."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"You're already fucking him."

"He's straight!"

There was a pause where the Asian stared blankly at him for far too long.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? He is!"

"Bullshit."

"This is where the problem is, he's straight and I don't know what to do about it."

"How many girls has he been with since you two started your thing?"

"None, not as far as I know, we were at a party last week and he said he 'wasn't feeling it', and then we f-played with Barbies in the bathroom."

Sollux snorted. "He sounds about as straight as a bendy ruler."

"This is the thing! He seems really straight, I wouldn't have picked him out as gay, and I'm pretty damn good at telling whether or not someone's gay, but not him. Not until he, well, he interrupted my movie night-don't even start on my movies shut up!"

"I didn't say anything."

Karkat glared at the smug grin. "You were thinking it I could see it in your face!"

"I can't help that you have shitty movie tastes."

"Ugh, whatever, fact remains that he watched 27 Dresses with me, and then I began to doubt whether or not he was actually completely straight."

"I am telling you right now, Kk, he is so not straight."

"You don't know him."

"I don't need to. Anyone willing to sit through that shit with you without getting anything has to actually like you for some wild reason."

"You've watched my movies before."

Sollux shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm like, required to, by some weird best-friend-law or some shit."

"That's possibly the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Which says a lot about the shit I say to you."

"What do you think I should do?"

Sollux sighed, grimacing a little and scratching the back of his head. "Haven't you just talked to him about it?"

"What if I scare him off? What if his 'straight' sensibilities make him freak out and then-?"

"I'm going to stop you right there, because really, would you rather just continue to play with Barbie with him until some chick comes along to take him away?"

No. He definitely didn't want that. That was so not what he wanted.

"I mean, I don't think dating someone who claims he's straight would exactly be the smartest thing you've ever done, but if he refuses to admit it then it's probably not worth it."

Karkat sat in silence, staring at the keyboard, trying to will it to tell him something else. He didn't want that conversation, he really didn't. But Sollux was right. Sollux was usually right, at least when it came to Karkat, even if he didn't like it. He'd tried to set Dave up with a girl, tried to move on to someone else himself, but the blonde was having none of it. So he needed to do something.

Someone rang the doorbell.

"Do you need to get that?"

"It's probably for one of my flatmates," Karkat said, pleased to have something break the silence. When he finally looked back up at Sollux's face, he was surprised to see worry there. "If you're not careful I might start to think you care with that expression."

"Pfft, in your dreams, asshole. I was more worried you were going to burst into tears on me."

"Like I'd waste my tears on anything."

"Anything other than your shitty movies you mean."

"Lay off my movies!"

"Okay, I'll just mock you for falling for a straight guy. I mean, really, what made you think agreeing to sleep with a straight guy was a good idea?"

"It had been a while, okay?"

Sollux ignored him. "It's like, top of your worst ideas list. Worse than when you snogged Vriska at that one party."

"Oh God no don't bring that up."

"No wonder you're gay, I think I'd turn gay if I had her touch me in any way, shape, or form."

There was a knock at his door. "What is it?!"

"It was totally something really cheesy, wasn't it?" the door opened, one blonde headed man wearing shades popping round the corner, Karkat's facing burning ferociously as Sollux continued to talk. "You're going to tell me he 'has a nice smile' or some shit, aren't you? 'Oh, Dave, you're so charming with your shitty irony, take me now'!"

"Shut up right fucking now Sollux or I will never speak to you again."

Karkat didn't need to look at the screen to know that Sollux had that shit-eating grin on his face. He didn't even need to look in a mirror to know that his face had never been as red as it was right then, heart thumping loudly, mouth going dry, staring with wide eyes at the person in the doorway.

"He's there, isn't he?" there was unbridled amusement lacing Sollux's voice. "This is so precious."

Karkat shut the laptop. He was never going to Sollux for help again.

Dave rubbed his nose, trying to supress his amusement. "Can I come in, or is now a bad time?"

"No, I was just going to smother myself with a pillow, that's all."

He stepped further into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Shall I ask why you were talking about me to your friend?"

Karkat groaned, burring his face in his hands, curling in on himself. "I can't believe that actually just happened."

"You're kind of adorable, you know that?"

"Just go away and leave me alone to wallow in self-pity please."

The bed shifted, signalling that Dave had moved to sit on the bed. "Nah, I quite like it here, thanks anyway."

"I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed."

"_What about when your brother walked in on you watching porn and gave you a lecture on how protection was still important even if you were gay?" _

Karkat stared at his laptop in horror. "Oh my _God_, Sollux, what the fuck did you _do_?"

"_It's not my fault your laptop doesn't go to sleep when you shut it." _

"Hang up right now or I swear I will personally fly over there and kill you myself."

"_I dunno, I think I deserve some enjoyment at your expense after you made me have one of your weird little feelings jams." _

Dave leaned forward, smirk on his face as he spoke. "Your choice Lispy, but we are going to be getting down and dirty in about five minutes."

"We have to call it playing with Barbie," Karkat input, though regretted it instantly. "Because Sollux doesn't like the idea of me actually having sex."

The smirk widened, hands coming up to pull Karkat's legs away from his body, uncurling him. "I bet he'll just love hearing you moan when I do what I'm about to do to you then."

Karkat felt his breath hitch in his throat, incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that Sollux, his childhood friend, could still hear them, but becoming more and more turned on. "What's that then?"

"_Dude no never use that tone ever again in my presence I am so out of here you better have that talk or I will punch you next time I see you." _

The noise of Skype hanging up followed, leaving the pair in silence.

"What talk's that then?"

He was never going to be able to have any talk if Dave kept up with this seduction thing. "Talk, we need to talk."

"Go on," Dave's lips were at his jaw, breath caressing his skin.

"Back the fuck up right now so we can have this talk."

"I'm good."

Karkat shut his eyes, biting his lip, willing himself to not make noises of pleasure when lips nipped at his skin. "I-I like you."

"I should hope so."

"I like you as more than a friend."

Dave paused, pulling back enough to look up at Karkat's face. He could make out Dave's eyes behind the shades with how close they were. There was something in his face that reminded Karkat of when he'd informed Dave they were going to find him a girl. It took the same amount of time for the blonde to recover.

He finally pulled back, moving the laptop further down the bed, and Karkat didn't think he'd ever seen Dave look so serious.

"I've never liked another man before," Dave started, pushing his shades to rest on top of his head, red eyes looking directly into Karkat's, making the smaller male suck in a breath of surprise. He'd seen Dave's eyes before, but it still thrilled him to see them. "I've never been involved with one, not before you. It scares me a little, sure, and I wasn't sure whether or not you felt the same, or even if you'd be okay with it. But I like you too. I don't know what I want, I mean, I'm kind of content with what we have, but if you want more…"

Karkat thought his insides might melt and turn to mush. "Will you go on a date with me? Would you be willing to-to not be ashamed of this?"

"I'm happy to do whatever you want to. All I care is that I get to do it with you."

"If I said I didn't want to hide this…this relationship. What about then?"

A pale hand found his cheek, thumb rubbing against his skin. "It'd be really weird; I'm not going to lie. But I'd tell people."

Karkat pushed himself forward, practically throwing himself at Dave, their lips meeting in an incredibly sloppy but satisfying kiss.

"Thank you."

"I can't believe you were worried about this shit dude."

"Shut up and kiss me, you little-!"

It wouldn't be until the next Monday while passing Dave in the hallways that Karkat would find out dating him publically meant Dave apparently had permission to grope him in the hallways and was a lot less discrete about sneaking off to the bathroom for a quickie.

He would definitely be drawing the line at Dave and John playing 'who can smack Karkat's ass harder'. He didn't care if they were best bros, that was something that was not ever going to happen.

Right there and then he had more pressing matters to worry about however. Like whether or not Dave really was going to kill him with sex.

xXx

_That took a lot longer to write than I thought it would. It's actually turned out to be longer than I planned. I didn't really plan for the part with Sollux, I just kind of got to there and went 'shit I don't actually know how to resolve this', and a similar thing happened to me before, with shutting the laptop but Skype didn't hang up. I need to work on my Kanaya if I plan on cosplaying her in a couple weeks I think though._

_Hope you all enjoyed it! _

_Thanks ~ _

_Kivea R. _


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